Jumbled Thoughts

Do you ever have that feeling in your stomach? The one that makes you absolutely restless and excited and anxious and nervous, but you just don't know why?  I do. In fact, I have it right now. My mind is racing, and it refuses to slow down. So I think I'm gonna write it out; maybe then I can better process what's going on in my brain.

Lately, God has been teaching me things at a such a crazy fast speed. I can hardly keep up, but I love it! I feel like I am finally getting more out of the internship at the HA. Don't get me wrong; it was good before, but now it's just better.  I am positive that a lot of it has to do with the new prayer room on campus. Having three hours of  mandatory prayer time per week is bound to change your life.  I'm excited to see what's next every morning.

There is a catch, though, with this new, accelerated growth.  God is drawing me nearer and nearer to Him, so Satan is throwing chain after chain in my direction.  He's trying to get to my neck and tighten the noose. I'm not gonna lie; it's HARD.  He's been attacking me the hardest in the area of my attitude and relationships with others.  Negative thoughts keep flying into my head.  And so many little moments in the day, I let him win.  But I have to realize that he IS the enemy. People are NOT. God's Word says that if I resist the devil, he will FLEE from me! I could sit back (as I've done so many times before) and be a victim to his attacks, lying on the floor and crying. Or I could do a little work and RESIST him.  I'm gonna choose the latter.

I'm also looking forward to Thanksgiving break. It's only FIVE days away, after all! I've never gone so long without seeing the beautiful Scottsboro, Alabama. And yes, I admit it; I miss it like crazy!  But I know that as I go home, to comfort, to lower standards, to less accountability, it will be so easy to let all the ground I've gained slip right out of my hands.  This will be the true test.  It's easy to subconsciously believe that I've turned into this awesome super-Christian here at the HA. It's not that I'm arrogant about it; please don't think that.  I know it is NOT true - believe me!  I'm just not provided an opportunity to be caught in most of the traps that entangled me at home.  That doesn't mean, though, that I'm necessarily stronger in those areas.  I've gotta be able to stand in the very face of that enticing temptation, recognize it for what it is, decide to choose God instead, and turn around and RUN from it.

2 Samuel 22:30-31:

For by you I can run against a troop,
   and by my God I can leap over a wall.
This God— his way is perfect;
   the word of the LORD proves true;
   he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

Sorry if my thoughts don't make sense. I warned you, though, about my racing mind. Hah.  Anyway, I guess that's about all I have for now. :)