On Beauty

I think that basically every female on the planet has thought, at some point or another, that she's ugly.  Some have only struggled with this minimally.  Some, on the other hand, have been haunted for as long as they can remember by the fear that they will never be beautiful.  Some girls live every day terrified that they will never be loved as much as they would be if they were pretty.

Most girls do everything they can possibly think of to improve their looks.  They spend hours in front of the mirror with products and tools to make them look better.  They apply and reapply liquids and powders and gels to their faces. They pluck and wax and brush and straighten and curl and pin hair.  They try putting their hair up, then they take it down, then they leave it half up and half down.  They paint lips and eyelids and fingernails and toenails.  They try on outfit after outfit after outfit, searching for one that doesn't make them look "completely horrible." They tell the waiter, "I'll just have the salad," and spend hours upon hours in the gym-- not in the name of healthy, but in the name of skinny.  They pull their skirts up higher and their shirts down lower.  They go to a special doctor and pay thousands of dollars to get implants put in them and fat sucked out of them and collagen injected into them.  They do all these things, they labor all these hours, they spend all this money-- and why? For "beauty."

Women want to be beautiful.  More than that, women want to be told that they are beautiful.  They wanna hear it.  So oftentimes, when some guy waltzes in and tells a girl that yes, she is beautiful, she listens to his next words.  Then, eventually, she falls for him, even though he has a different value system than her, or he's only using her to quench his lust, or he's headed in a completely different direction in life than she is, or he's abusive, or he isn't even the same religion as her.  And by the time she comes to realize that the relationship will inevitably end, it's too late.  She's given him her heart, and sometimes, unfortunately, she's given him her body.  Often, a girl in this situation delays ending this broken relationship because, even though she's hurt by it daily, at least it makes her feel a little bit beautiful.

How truly, utterly, devastatingly heartbreaking.

Ladies, we were not meant for this.

I was driving to class today, when the song "Beautiful" by MercyMe started playing on the radio.  I'd heard it dozens of times before without much notice, but this time its lyrics caught my attention, especially these few, simple words:

"You're beautiful,

You're beautiful,

You are made for so much more than all of this,

You're beautiful,

You're beautiful,

You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His,

You're beautiful"

Girls, stop looking to men to make you feel beautiful, valued, whole, and loved.  You will always end up disappointed and hurt.  Men can never satisfy you, and they weren't meant to.  If you're desperately clinging to that empty relationship that you know has to end someday, then hear this: that guy may tell you that you're beautiful, but you know what else?  God, too, is telling you that you're beautiful.  The difference?  He'll never hurt you.  He'll never turn away.  He will give you a lifelong romance.  His love for you is real.  It's not based on something that you have to fight daily to attempt to maintain and will inevitably fade away.  No.  His love is based on your innate value that can never fade away or even be reduced at all.  For that reason, His love for you, likewise, will never fade away or be reduced at all.  

Hear me when I say that you are beautiful.  You are made for more than this.  Stop, turn around, and run to God.  He is your Satisfier.  Remember, He knows you in totality.  He knows every single detail of your thoughts, actions, words, and physical appearance-- all of it; past, present, and future-- and still, He loves you so incredibly much.  Still, He loves you more than anyone you know or ever will know.  Is He really not enough?

Yes, you are beautiful.  You are sacred.  You are treasured. Please-- be His.

1 Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.

2 Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,

and cry to her

that her warfare is ended,

that her iniquity is pardoned,

that she has received from the LORD’s hand

double for all her sins.

...

6 A voice says, “Cry!”

And I said, “What shall I cry?”

All flesh is grass,

and all its beauty is like the flower of the field.

7 The grass withers, the flower fades

when the breath of the LORD blows on it;

surely the people are grass.

8 The grass withers, the flower fades,

but the word of our God will stand forever.

-Isaiah 40:1-2, 6-8

Guard Your Heart

This week I'm home for Spring Break, and today I decided to go through my super-old desktop computer's files to clean it out a little.  It's always interesting to look back at things I wrote years ago.  Sometimes my old writing is hilarious, and other times it's just embarrassing. Occasionally, though, it's actually pretty insightful.  That's the case for one document I came across a few minutes ago.  My guess is, I wrote this at about age 16:

"Guard your heart."

We hear this over and over, but do we think about it daily? Do we make a conscious effort to say no to things that will corrupt our hearts? 

I don't just mean R-rated movies, or profane music, or drugs, or going to far in a relationship. 

 What I want you to guard your heart against this week, all day, every day, is negative attitudes, hurtful thoughts, and dishonesty-- the little things.  Keep your heart pure.   

I don't mean "kind of focus on it a little extra." NO. I mean go all out!  If you want to further your relationship with God, you need to "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life" (Proverbs 4:23).  Think about that.  I mean, really.  It's a big deal.   

2 Chronicles 16:9 says that the eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.   If you find yourself unable to worship the Lord fully and don't know why, you probably haven't been guarding your heart.  You're chasing after things that will NEVER satisfy; in a relationship with God, but flirting with the devil. The problem? You cannot serve two masters (See Matthew 6:21-24).

So this week, do what we should ALL do EVERY week, and watch as it transforms you and your relationship with God.  This week, guard your heart. 

Wow.  What if we really did live that out every single day?  What if we took every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5)? What would our relationships with our Father look like if we guarded our hearts like that?

"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." -Colossians 3:2

Fervently. Ardently. Constantly.

Let's pursue that.

Drink Deeply

Tonight I happened to flip through the book of Isaiah, and came across the following verse:

"They did not thirst when he led them through the deserts;
   he made water flow for them from the rock;
   he split the rock and the water gushed out."
--Isaiah 48:21

I have spent a lot of time these past few months walking through the desert, spiritually speaking.  I've also spent a lot of time these past few months being terribly thirsty, spiritually speaking. That isn't the way it's supposed to be.

God leads us all through some type of desert every now and then.  These times are always difficult, but they are meant to draw us nearer to Him, to teach us how to depend on Him.  These times are not meant to be spent in extreme spiritual thirst.  Period.  If you're being led through the desert right now, and you're going thirsty, you're doing it wrong.  I know I have been.

Now that Bible verse up there is talking about a physical journey that the Israelites made through a real desert.  God literally made water flow for them from a rock.  But since I'm talking about spiritual thirst, I need to define spiritual water.  In John 4:14, Jesus says, "Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again." Some people think this living water is referring to salvation, while others believe it is the Holy Spirit.  Either way, though, I think it's safe to say that it has a whole lot to do with fellowship with God.

Like I said, when God leads me through a desert, I tend to spend a lot of my time being extremely thirsty.  It almost feels like that's how it's supposed to be.  I mean, deserts and thirst kind of go together, right? But if fellowship with God is our spiritual water, then how could we possibly believe that we are ever meant to be thirsty?  We aren't.  Isaiah 30:20-21 says,

"And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher.  And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left."

No matter what season of life we're in, we are always invited to fellowship with our Lord.  Let's drink deeply of it.

Treadmill vs. Pavement

My senior year of high school, I joined a gym. I worked out every day after school, and part of my workout routine included jogging on the treadmill.

As time progressed, so did my endurance, and I was able to jog a little faster for a little longer.  (Yes, that's how it works.)  I was feeling pretty good about my progress, and I remember one day in particular the weather was really beautiful, so I decided to change things up a little and jog in my neighborhood. I decided how far to jog, and set off.  No treadmill, just pavement.  It wouldn't be that hard, I figured, since I'd run much further at the gym.

I figured wrong.  I made it a whopping one-fourth of the distance that I'd initially planned to run, then stopped.  I was hurting. I was tired. I was out of breath. I was not running anymore.  So I walked the rest of the way back home, trying to figure out why on earth this run was any different than all the others. It didn't take too long to peg the problem-- the difference was the pavement.

I may not be a workout expert, but I know from that experience that running on a treadmill is substantially different from running on pavement.

Why?

Here's my super-scientific, heavily-researched analysis:

On a treadmill, you're only doing about half the work.  Yes, you're lifting your legs and swinging them forward.  But you don't have to push against the ground to propel yourself forward.  The ground moves itself.  You just lift and swing your legs. That's it.
Then there's the factor of incline. When you're running on a treadmill, the incline will always be consistent. There are no potholes, no ditches, and no obstacles.  If there's a "hill," it's because you programmed it into the settings.

To be clear, I am not saying that jogging on treadmills is a bad thing to do. Not at all! I do not regret one single workout in that gym.  Those jogs pushed me to be healthier, and I benefitted tremendously from them.  Yes, I am thankful for my time on the treadmill.

Now, here's what this blog is really about:

Life at the Honor Academy is like jogging on a treadmill.  Jump on, lift and swing your legs, and you're bound to get healthier. You're propelled forward by the resources, people, prayer, and the program at large.  Yes, you have to work some. Yes, you make real progress.  But you've got a lot of help.

And then, all of the sudden, you graduate. You're no longer an intern. You find yourself standing outside the "gym," and your membership is expired.  You want to continue getting healthier, but at this point, you're on your own.  It's just you and the pavement, and frankly, the pavement couldn't care less whether or not you move forward.

That's what happened to me, and I'd be willing to bet that other alumni have experienced the same thing.    It's harder to run out here, and so it makes sense to see a lot of them just quit.  It's easy to want to quit sometimes. I have no accountability card, no chapel, no CA, no core, and no rules.  I'm on my own.

And this treadmill vs. pavement thing is not a fault of the Honor Academy. That is not what I'm implying.  Like I said before, I am grateful for the treadmill.  It pushed me exactly when I needed to be pushed.  In fact, if it weren't for all those afternoons on the treadmill, I would never have been even close to being prepared to face the pavement.

I guess my point is this:

If you're an alumnus like me:
Keep running on the pavement.  It's harder, but it truly will pay off. A mile on pavement is worth a lot more than a mile on a treadmill.  Just ask your sore muscles.

If you're still at the Honor Academy:
You won't be on the treadmill forever.  Some day, your gym membership will expire, and you'll be on the pavement too.  With that fact in mind, push yourself harder than the settings on the treadmill are pushing you.  You need to have momentum of your own built up, so that you'll be ready to run on your own.

If you're not affiliated with the Honor Academy:
This lesson can easily be applied to things like summer camp, mission trips, or youth retreats, where you're spiritually propelled by others. Learn to push yourself at home, too.

Sanctuary

Tonight, I am thankful beyond words that despite all the stress I've felt this week because of finals, I am able to restore peace to my soul simply by stealing away for a few sweet moments with my Lord.

". . . let us press on to know the LORD;

his going out is sure as the dawn;

he will come to us as the showers,

as the spring rains that water the earth."

-Hosea 6:3

Amen.

His love is extravagant.

Drawn Again...

The past week of my life hasn't been the best ever, for a few reasons.

Most of you probably know about my grandfather passing away on Saturday.  I guess there's no need to explain why that has been difficult.

Then, on a much less severe note, I've been preparing for finals for the past three days, and have eight more days of intense studying ahead of me before Christmas break.

There are probably a couple other factors that have made this week difficult, but those alone are really enough to explain the funk I've been in.

Anyway, it all got to me tonight I guess, and I had just about run out of gas, when I decided to play worship music on Pandora until my spirits lifted.  Well, it took about ten or fifteen songs, but finally I could feel God speaking to my heart, lifting the darkness from me, restoring my joy.

I then opened the Word and read Psalms 9:9-10, which says:

The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.
And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.

Tonight, I am thankful that the Lord inclines His ear to my weak prayer for renewed hope.  I'm thankful that my Savior draws me to His voice again and again.  I'm thankful that when I feel utterly worn down, He can build me up once more.

O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted;
you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear...
(Psalm 10:17)

I'm thankful that He strengthens my feeble heart when I'm afflicted.  I'm thankful that, truly, all I need is Him.  Even when my world falls apart, I can endure it if my stronghold is the Lord.

My holy Father loves me, and I'm thankful.



**I'm sorry if this post seems less than eloquent.  I have been studying and writing papers pretty much nonstop for three days.  I'm pretty mentally exhausted.**

Face Like a Flint

One thing I've observed: God calls me things I'm not.

An example: This past year at the Honor Academy, my core (small group) name was Undivided.  It referred to having an undivided heart before the Lord, solely focused on Him, etc.  Let's be serious, though; undivided is the last word that describes the state of my heart.  It's almost laughable.

But God calls me these things, I believe, because He is speaking them over me; He's calling me into the person He says I am.

This year, He calls me a warrior.  See, I am "adopted" into my dear friend Kara's core from the HA, and that's her core name.

This year, I am not a warrior.
I give up, compromise standards, and turn away.
I sin like nobody's business.
I barely fight at all.
I'm discouraged, defeated, and lonely.
I skip quiet times more often than not.
I barely remember the taste of that sweet passion for Jesus.
Yet, this year, God calls me a warrior.

So tonight I was praying, and a phrase from a Bible verse came to my mind.  I prayed it, but all I could remember were the words "face set like flint." But thank the Lord for Google; I was soon thumbing through the pages of my Bible till I reached Isaiah 50, and read:

"4 The Lord God has given me the tongue of those who are taught,
that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary.
Morning by morning he awakens;
he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught.
5 The Lord God has opened my ear, and I was not rebellious;
I turned not backward.
6 I gave my back to those who strike,
and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard;
I hid not my face from disgrace and spitting.
7 But the Lord God helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced;
therefore I have set my face like a flint,
and I know that I shall not be put to shame.
8 He who vindicates me is near.
Who will contend with me?
Let us stand up together.
Who is my adversary?
Let him come near to me.
9 Behold, the Lord God helps me;
who will declare me guilty?
Behold, all of them will wear out like a garment;
the moth will eat them up."
--Isaiah 50: 4-9

I don't feel like these verses describe me at all, and I usually don't act like they do either.  But if God tells me that I am a warrior, then I'm gonna claim it.  I'm going to be who He calls me to be, by His grace.

The Lord helps me...therefore I have set my face like a flint.



PS: If you Google "flint," you'll learn that it's some pretty awesome stuff.