Musing

The thing

about going to new places 

and meeting new people 

is that 

you always leave them. 

And when you leave, 

you don't get to take your entire heart with you.  

Traveling is always heartbreaking, 

if you do it right.

Everything Autumn

I can't quite put my finger on it.

Maybe it's the way the sunlight hits the earth, or the way the air just feels different somehow.  Maybe it's just me thinking back to all the fond memories from years past, or unpacking sweaters and boots and hanging them in my closet again.  I'm not sure what it is, but something about fall just makes me absolutely ecstatic.  I try to read for class, and I have to read the same paragraph four times before I comprehend it, all because of my wandering mind.

I can't seem to stop thinking about everything that I love about it.  In fact, I can't really think of anything that I don't love about fall.

I'm just gonna list a few of my absolute favorite things about this spectacular season; maybe then I'll be able to focus on the whole studying thing.

1. The weather.  It takes a while for the really good fall weather to come here in AL, but when it does come, it's the best weather all year.  Chilly breezes mingling with the still-warm sunshine.  It's the perfect time to wear...
2. The clothes.  Boots, sweaters, leggings, scarves.  Ahh.  I just love them all.
3. The fun.  Pumpkin patches, corn mazes, Halloween (call me pagan; I like it), playing in leaves...
4. Oh yeah, leaves! I lovelovelove the woods in the fall.  Red, yellow, orange, green, brown; gorgeous.
5. Warm drinks.  Fancy coffee, hot chocolate, apple cider.  Mmmm.

Okay, I'm just going to stop.  I could go on for a really long time about friends and music and campfires and so much more, but it's 10:27 PM, and I need to do my math homework.

I hope you share my excitement for this season. :) 

(I don't understand how you could not.)

How Far?

Consecrated.  

That's the word that seems to be at the front of my mind since I graduated from the Honor Academy almost a month ago.  That's the word that I want to describe me.

During the last month or two at the HA, we had to decide what our personal standards for our lives would be upon our graduation -- and with good reason.  For an entire year, we were given rules like no dating, no R-rated movies, no secular music, no drinking, no smoking, no immodest clothing, etc. We didn't have to decide a whole lot as far as our limits went; we just had to have integrity and follow the rules that were already set in place for us.

A lot of the rules were standards that I already lived by, so I didn't really need to think about those.  But for some, like listening to secular music, I only had vague ideas of my standards.  "I will listen to some secular music if I want to, but I won't listen to anything with lyrics that compromise my heart or mind," I decided.  So I tried going with that idea. 

But then I remembered a phrase spoken by a leader at the HA, something along the lines of, "How far, God, will you let me go? How abandoned will you let me be?" Those words were spoken during a sermon that was essentially about total consecration.  It goes along with 1 Corinthians 10:23, which says:

“'All things are lawful,' but not all things are helpful. 'All things are lawful,' but not all things build up."

So, sure.  Maybe listening to a few harmless, clean secular songs every now and then wouldn't hurt me.  It might not draw me further from the Lord.  But would it help me?  Would it draw me closer to the Lord? Probably not.

I don't want to just avoid the "big" sins.  I want to hate every little sin that I ever commit.  Every impatient sigh, every cutting remark, every carelessly casual sin. 

Leviticus 20:7 says, "Consecrate yourselves, therefore, and be holy, for I am the Lord your God."

I want total intimacy with God, no matter the cost.  

I want to go through His refining fire.

I want to be consecrated.