There's a passage in the book of Revelation that seems to be following me around lately. It's in chapter two, and God has been showing me its truth as it relates to my life.
"I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name's sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first..." -- Revelation 2:2-5
Wow. How perfectly these verses align with my life right now. Here at the Honor Academy, I am always busy fulfilling requirements. I wake up, get ready, go to class, go to work, read my Bible Reading Plan, do homework, and so on. And all of my requirements are good things. In class, I'm learning how to walk out my faith. At work, I'm doing ministry and making sure that kids are able to go on their mission trips and change their lives as well as the lives of others. My Bible Reading Plan is great; it's helping me read through the entire Bible, which I've never done before. My homework is beneficial, too; I learn good things from it. But with this fast-paced, always-doing-something lifestyle comes a risk -- the risk of losing sight of why I even signed up for all this in the first place.
I remember when I first fell in love with God. It was the summer of 2006, and I was head over heels. That summer, I realized what Christianity was meant to be. That summer, I decided to give absolutely everything to God. And I did. I started having a quiet time daily, I started digging in to every Christian book, CD, and church service I could get my hands on. I looked into Christian colleges and began hanging out with Christian friends. I signed up for a mission trip and learned what worship was all about. I was learning like crazy, and I was loving like crazy.
I came here to the HA to grow in my relationship with God, and I have. I've grown, but I have also gotten distracted. In the words of a Teen Mania staff member who spoke to us at a service we had on Monday night, "Somewhere along the way, the ministry became my relationship with God." And I'm not saying that I've just totally left God; that would by no means be true. Not at all. But He hasn't had my whole heart. It's easy to be doing the work of the Lord without Him having my whole heart. He has a lot of it; He even has most of it. But He doesn't have all of it. I have never stopped loving God, but I have loved Him less.
It's time for me to remember that God cares more about my heart than about what I'm called to do. He wants my heart before my hands. This is not to say that I shouldn't do that to which I'm called, but that I must do it out of love for Him. Otherwise, my work is meaningless.
I want that fervor back. That reckless abandon that makes me look like a fool. I want the love that I had at first. I remember from where I have fallen, and I repent. Lord, I want to love You with my life.
"I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name's sake, and you have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first..." -- Revelation 2:2-5
Wow. How perfectly these verses align with my life right now. Here at the Honor Academy, I am always busy fulfilling requirements. I wake up, get ready, go to class, go to work, read my Bible Reading Plan, do homework, and so on. And all of my requirements are good things. In class, I'm learning how to walk out my faith. At work, I'm doing ministry and making sure that kids are able to go on their mission trips and change their lives as well as the lives of others. My Bible Reading Plan is great; it's helping me read through the entire Bible, which I've never done before. My homework is beneficial, too; I learn good things from it. But with this fast-paced, always-doing-something lifestyle comes a risk -- the risk of losing sight of why I even signed up for all this in the first place.
I remember when I first fell in love with God. It was the summer of 2006, and I was head over heels. That summer, I realized what Christianity was meant to be. That summer, I decided to give absolutely everything to God. And I did. I started having a quiet time daily, I started digging in to every Christian book, CD, and church service I could get my hands on. I looked into Christian colleges and began hanging out with Christian friends. I signed up for a mission trip and learned what worship was all about. I was learning like crazy, and I was loving like crazy.
I came here to the HA to grow in my relationship with God, and I have. I've grown, but I have also gotten distracted. In the words of a Teen Mania staff member who spoke to us at a service we had on Monday night, "Somewhere along the way, the ministry became my relationship with God." And I'm not saying that I've just totally left God; that would by no means be true. Not at all. But He hasn't had my whole heart. It's easy to be doing the work of the Lord without Him having my whole heart. He has a lot of it; He even has most of it. But He doesn't have all of it. I have never stopped loving God, but I have loved Him less.
It's time for me to remember that God cares more about my heart than about what I'm called to do. He wants my heart before my hands. This is not to say that I shouldn't do that to which I'm called, but that I must do it out of love for Him. Otherwise, my work is meaningless.
I want that fervor back. That reckless abandon that makes me look like a fool. I want the love that I had at first. I remember from where I have fallen, and I repent. Lord, I want to love You with my life.
